


Good Morning Good Morning

by ab2fsycho (orphan_account)



Series: Young Volcanoes [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Car Accidents, F/M, Invasion of Privacy, Mentions of past abuse, i don't blame karkat, i'm not a morning person either, roommate issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1863555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ab2fsycho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Classes are starting. Time to hate your roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. stuck now so long

“Karkles,” Terezi croons in his ear. Can't she see that he's trying to sleep? “Come on Karkles. You are not exempt from the wake-up calls.” Yes he is. She just does’t know it yet. And honestly, she does not want him to get up out of this bed. She will regret it.

Terezi and a select few, including his roommate and that one freshman girl with glasses that Tavros likes, are morning people. However, it's Terezi who goes around waking everyone up. After an all-nighter of gaming with Gamzee, though, Karkat wants to sleep in. She isn’t having that, though. She won’t listen to reason, and what he has to say is most definitely reason.

“Get the fuck out and let me sleep till my balls shrivel up and blow away in the goddamned wind,” he snaps after her latest croon.

“Awww, that’s a waste of anatomy if I ever heard one.” Terezi then flounces onto the bed and rolls on him. “Get up, Karkles!” 

“I can’t. There’s something on top of me,” he snarls. Did he give her keys to every room in the house? Karkat doesn’t fucking think so. How is she able to do this?

“Ooo, I like the way you talk to me." 

“What fucking time is it?” He glares at the clock, waiting for his eyesight to adjust. “What the fuck, it’s 6:46! Why are you doing this to me?!”

“But you have classes!” she whines.

“On a Saturday?”

“Details, el presidente! You’ve got a thing to do! Like sponsor a freshman!”

“No I don’t.”

“If you don’t get up, I’ll take the coffee pot right out of Tavros’s hands and dump its contents onto you. Do you want that? Do you want me to steal the dreams of a wheelchair bound brother?”

Does she even acknowledge that she’s just threatened to scald him? No. She's concerned about hurting Tavros’s feelings. Of fucking course. “Go away, Terezi,” he growls one last time. “Let me sleep.”

“Get up now, or I’ll be forced to use this!” She must be holding one of Gamzee’s horns. The only reason he knows this is because it accidentally honks directly into his exposed ear which she had been crooning into minutes before.

Karkat has had it. Perhaps it's the fact that she’s blown a goddamn horn in his ear. Perhaps it's that a wave of jealousy has overwhelmed him. After all, when had she been hanging out with Gamzee long enough to take one of his honkers? Perhaps it's simply the hour of the day. No matter what the reason might be, somehow he's driven to shove the laughing Terezi out of his bed, get up, take two large steps to Tavros’s bed, then pick up Tavros’s entire mattress (sheets, pillows, and all), and fling it at Terezi. She's knocked to the ground momentarily as she's assaulted by blanket and plush. He steps over her and the mattress, crawls back into bed, then promptly forgets about his burst of energy and outrage.

Until she starts laughing maniacally at him from under the bedding. He then covers his head with his pillow, desperate to ignore her. It isn’t until Tavros rolls into the room that Karkat acknowledges the existence of anyone else in the household. “Um, guys? What . . . what happened to my bed?” He sounds so distraught, and Terezi just continues laughing and sounding oh so pleased with herself.

Some days, Karkat just can’t with the world.


	2. just got the start wrong

"Alright shitheads, it's time we decided who's gonna play big brother to which new jerkoff." Karkat has called them all out in a line in the living room. Equius is the only one standing at attention, the way Karkat wants. Karkat's not exactly pleased about this, though - the guy is sweating heavily and muttering something about needing a towel. The rest of his cohorts are slouched in some way, arms crossed or hands in pockets. Feferi is more concerned with her nails than with the task at hand.

"Now, we've developed a system of our own for comprising our own little fucked up families. Since everyone insisted on being a goddamn individual, we had to go by signs of the zodiac: Gamzee the Capricorn, Tavros the Taurus, Vriska the Scorpio, Kanaya the Virgo, Eridan the Aquarius, Feferi the Pisces, Equius the Sagittarius, Nepeta the Leo, Terezi the Libra, Aradia the Aries, Sollux the Gemini, and me the Cancer."

 

"Yes Karkles, we know this already."

"Shut up!" Karkat shouts. "Now, obviously, we should just put the freshmen slum in the families of their own goddamn astrological signs. Secretary Leijon!"

"Yessir!" Nepeta snaps to attention, giving Karkat a salute.

"What's the report on the newbies?"

"Uhm," Nepeta fishes a folded-up piece of notebook paper from her paw-ket. "Well, John's birthday is April the thirteenth -"

"Isn't that Pi Day?" Equius interrupts.

"Nah bro," Gamzee replies. "That's March the fourteenth. Pi is 3.14 -"

"Shut it!" Karkat snaps. He turns back to his secretary. "Please continue, Nepeta."

"Right!" she beems. "John would thereby be in House Aries with Aradia. The others..." Nepeta trails off, frowning. "Hm. Well, Jade, Dave, and Rose are all born in December, basically all back to back. So they'd bee in House Sagittarius with Equius."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Vriska shrieks. "He can't even hold a glass of milk without it snapping in two. You really wanna trust him with three freshmen?"

Nepeta's growling, the paper in her claws shaking. Sensing a fight on the rise, Karkat crosses to her and covers one of her hands with his own. She stops hissing immediately, color rising to her cheeks. "I agree, it's unfair, both to Equius and the rest of us to give him three littles and leave us with none."

Equius brushes his hair back. "Okay, so what do you suggest then, Vriska?"

The group turns to her. She frowns, arms crossed. "I don't know, maybe just go by whoever we bonded with most at the party?"

 

"Open house, Serket. Call it a party and we get put on probation." Karkat frowns, arms crossed. "That would work out okay for Jade - clearly she'd go with Tavros. But none of the rest of you spent a lot of time getting chummy with the kids -"

"Oh you're one to talk," Eridan snaps.

"At least I didn't push them out of the way -"

Terezi slams her cane on the ground three times, like a gavel in a courtroom. "Quiet! There must be some way to determine -"

"Wait yo, I have it!" Gamzee steps out of line, heading to the corner. He pulls out a mobile wipeout board, and begins writing numbers and drawing symbols on it. When he pulled away, the board reads:  


  1.  Aradia
  2.  Tavros
  3.  Sollux
  4.  Karkat
  5.  Nepeta
  6.  Kanaya
  7.  Terezi
  8.  Vriska
  9.  Equius
  10.  Gamzee
  11.  Eridan
  12.  Feferi



"Alright so, you said the John dude's birthday is April thirteenth, right? So, like, that's 4-13. 4 + 1 = 5 + 3 = 8. The eighth sign in the zodiac? Vriska. You get where I'm going?"

Karkat's eyebrows are raised. "Huh. Yeah... Yeah, that seems like a decent way to go about it." He turns back to his brothers. "Everyone else good with this?" Everyone nods, Vriska looking especially excited. "Alright. Now, what about the other kids?"

"You got their exact dates right, Nepi-pen?"

Nepeta mirrors Karkat's look, startled by Gamzee's odd nickname for her. "Yeah. Uh -" she looks back to the paper. "Jade is December first -"

                                                                                                                               1 + 2 = 3 + 1 = 4

                                                                                                                                Jade --> Karkat

"Rose is December third -"

                                                                                                                               1 + 2 = 3 + 3 = 6

                                                                                                                                Rose --> Kanaya

"And Dave is December fourth."

                                                                                                                                1 + 2 = 3 + 4 = 7

  
                                                                                                                                 Dave --> Terezi

There is a barely-audible _yes!_ that comes from Terezi's direction. Karkat is frowning, and so is Nepeta. "So what about our secretary?" Aradia asks. "Actually on that note, how did she even become secretary?"

"Because Terezi's handwriting is illegible," Karkat says with a wave of his hand. 

"Technically I'm the secretary," Terezi smiles. "But I employed Nepeta to get the handwriting done."

"You could have asked me!" Vriska belts.

Terezi puts a hand on her hip, glaring in her general direction. "Please, you put eight more everything than necessary. At least Nep's cat-puns don't compromise the integrity of the word." Vriska shrugs, but doesn't look the least bit ashamed.

"...Anyway," Karkat continues. "Aradia is right. Technically, Miss Leijon is a freshman and thereby needs a big before being formally inducted into our fraternity."

Nepeta quickly does the math in her head. 7 + 2 = 9 + 5 = 14. Hm. She supposes you could divide it by twelve, and the answer would be 1.2. Round that down, her big would be Tavros. She can live with this, he's pretty cute - "No." She looks to her left, where Equius stands. "She doesn't need a big, she has me."

Nepeta sighs. She loves Equius to death, but how does he expect her to live with him being so protective? She takes that back as soon as she thinks it, knowing full well she wouldn't know what to do without him.


	3. one more last try

"I HATE her!" There's no knock, Nepeta just flings herself into Kanaya and Terezi's room, throwing herself on Terezi's bed. Kanay's returned with laundry, which she's folding neatly and placing into a drawer. Terezi doesn't know why Kanaya bothers to do her laundry every day, but she guesses that's her prerogative. Terezi doesn't even bother to do it every week.

Kanaya raises an eyebrow. "I assume we're talking about Vriska?"

"Ye- _hissssssssss_ ," Nepeta growls. She wiggles, the tail pinned to the back of her pants moving with the rest of her body.

Kanaya sighs. Most of the people here are only barely friends with Vriska. She and Terezi are really the only exceptions. She can understand why Equius insisted that Nepeta room with Vriska - there are few better people you'd want on your side if something goes wrong. But their personalities are nowhere near compatible. 

Kanaya gives up on folding her laundry. "I'm going out for a bit," she informs her roommate. Nepeta needs someone to talk to, and Kanaya doesn't know her well enough yet for Nepeta to feel comfortable confiding in her.

Terezi sits herself on the bed next to her cat-friend, gripping the sheets to pull herself up higher. "What's her problem now?"

"She's just - such a bitch!" Nepeta rearranges her body so that her head sits in Terezi's lap. Terezi pets her head, making sure to scratch her behind the ears. As far as she's concerned, Nepeta really is half-cat. "She makes fun of me all the time, of the way I dress and the things I like. She even -" Nepeta has to paws for a moment, feeling embarrassed to admit this even to Te-rawr-zi. "She read my di-rawr-y. So now she knows I like - well, who I like. What if she goes around and tells everyone?"

"She won't do that," Terezi assures her. 

"What makes you so sure? I don't even get it, why do you like her?"

Terezi stops petting Nepeta's head. "She's difficult to get along with, that's for sure... But she's our friend. One day she just became part of the group. There's no real point in kicking her out now."

"Okay," Nepeta was frustrated now. "But how did she become part of the group? It's not like any of you like her."

Terezi smiles, but there's something off about it. "Now that's not entirely true. Don't tell Vriska that I'm telling you any of this, but she's a lot softer than she lets on." Nepeta snorts. "It's true! But her life hasn't been easy, even though she comes from a pretty wealthy family." Terezi grips her cane close to her, leaning on it. Nepeta is reminded of cartoons she has seen, in which old blind men tell epic stories. Although it's possible that this image is from a book she read. Sometimes the details get mixed up.

"Her family's very brutal, very cutthroat. They're an elitist bunch, so she was raised to believe she was better than everyone else. But her folks didn't exactly approve of Vriska. They thought she was weak, and it didn't help that she liked to hang out with us - with Aradia, Tavros and me. We were - what did they call us? Oh - 'low bloods,' or something like that. So Vriska was a wild child and had one hell of an anger. I think it's the abuse, it just does that to some people, when they get told they're not good enough and will never make it. In the end, it doesn't matter how nice people are to you. It only takes one breath to knock down a house of cards." Terezi shakes her head. "Anyway, that harsh personality is just part of who she's become, but she's trying to work on it, I promise you."

"It doesn't seem like it," Nepeta frowns. "I'm not sure I'm convinced."

Terezi lets the silence drown out the words, until she's sure it's okay to change gears a bit. "One night, after her mother had been particularly bitchy to her, Vriska got drunk off her ass and hopped in her car to come get us. We were all on our way to this park we used to hang out at, because we didn't live that far from each other. Well, we weren't really thinking then. We were teenagers, just kids. We thought it was funny, how out of it Vriska was. Well, Tavros didn't. He wanted her to pull over and let him drive. She sort of shrieked at him, but agreed. Too bad she was too drunk to get the reactions right. She ran us straight into oncoming traffic."

Nepeta's mouth is hanging open. "What?"

"There weren't too many people on the road that night, thank god. But the car did flip when she was trying to avoid everything. She and I got off pretty easy - glass from the window and debris cut me up pretty good, scarred my eyes so I need glasses now. She lost one eye and had to have major surgery on that arm of hers. Tavros - well, you know. He's been in a wheelchair ever since. Aradia got it the worst - she was in a coma for a little while."

"And you're still friends with her?" Nepeta shouts. She's foaming at the mouth, she's so angry.

"Yes," Terezi replies. "Because we were all a little at fault. We shouldn't have let her drive in the first place, none of us were wearing seatbelts, I was distracting her, the radio was on too loud -"

"She could have killed you!"

"She didn't. And it's not as though she did any of this on purpose. It was an accident, Nepeta. But the important thing to note is that she's been trying to make it up to us ever since. Haven't you noticed she's practically been throwing Tavros and Jade together? She wants him to be happy. She's been working on physical therapy with him, too. She helped Aradia pay for that studying abroad she did last year, that archaeology trip she was on. She also got Equius to leave her the hell alone after they broke up. Vriska's problem is that she still has this psychology that she has to prove something to somebody - to prove that she's strong enough to make it, that she's good enough. So of course she feels conflicted. But that's why we're still there for her. Somebody has to be. She didn't learn to hate on her own, she's not going to learn to love on her own either.

"Do you understand now?"

* * *

After talking to Terezi, Nepeta seems a little more receptive to the notion that Vriska isn't entirely a bad person. For reasons of her own, Terezi decides to meet Vriska for lunch and discuss her side of the story. After all, a good prosecutor must explore all angles of a case. Terezi wants to know Vriska's angle. Fortunately for Terezi, she never has to ask about Vriska's opinion.

"You have no idea what it's like rooming with a twelve-year-old." She's already primed and ready for sharing. "I mean, I know she isn't twelve. We all know that. But let's say we were walking down the street and passed her. What age would we think she is? We'd think she was twelve! And the way she talks is . . . ugh! I almost accidentally on purpose punched her in the face for squeeing. That's just an example, okay?"

"So . . . she has an annoying voice and odd sense of fashion? That's your only reason for hating her?" Terezi could have chosen a less blunt way to ask, but decides forwardness is best with Vriska.

Her notion is correct. "No. I mean . . .she has this obsession with relationships. She's all about pairing people up. What's the nerdy term for it? Coupling? Pairing? Ship-shipping! It's shipping! She spends a lot of her time shipping people in the household. Like, do you know who she ships me with? Equius! That oaf! I never even considered him to be an option, but since she pointed it out I'm thinking of making a move. That'd be a bad idea, seeing as she seems to think he has a secret admirer himself. You should see who she crushes on--"

"Vriska--"

"--It's practically everyone in the house! She loves every--"

"And she tells you this?"

There is a long pause that very easily could be solidified and sold as a product on eBay. The tension in the air is just that palpable. "Yes. No. I . . . read about it."

"Mmhm. Where?"

Vriska sounds stumped. "On . . . line."

Terezi squints. "What venue?"

"On . . . online. A website. That I don't know the name of."

"Vriska--"

"Okay it was her damn diary. You happy? Jesus, why you gotta fucking judge me. It's not like she was trying to hide it. It was out in the open, practically begging me to read it--"

"I'm sure it was." How would Terezi know? If she found a diary and could read it, she probably would. Perhaps the thing really was talking to Vriska, beckoning her to share in her roommates privacy.

But then again, this is Vriska. "I just wanted to know . . . I wanted to know what she thought. About everyone."

"About you, you mean?"

"Come on, Terezi, not everything is about me no matter how much more interesting that would be." Vriska lets out a heavy sigh before continuing. "She's annoying. That's the bottomline. She needs to grow up before--"

"What? Someone hurts her? Someone forces her to toughen up? Someone makes her feel weak?" Silence. Dead silence. Terezi has found it, the proverbial nail. She has struck it with a mighty blow. No baseless conjecture to be had here. She has figured out the problem. "I feel like," she begins, "you don't hate her as much as you say you do."

"Oh, what do you know?" Yes, bitterness. Venom. Terezi is on the right track if Vriska starts biting back like this.

So she continues. "There's nothing wrong with Nep. You know that very well. She's just innocent and young, much like our other freshies. Life's been kinder to her." She lets that sink in before continuing. "In my future line of work, that's the sort of innocence I think we'd like to protect."

"It's the sort of thing that leaves you heartbroken more often than not."

"So she hasn't tasted disappointment and unhappiness. Perhaps she will. Why rush it, though? Who knows what Nep will turn into should she encounter the cruelty, say, that you or Gamzee have?"

Terezi can practically hear Vriska biting her lip. Sipping her now lukewarm glass of iced tea, Terezi waits to hear the verdict. It comes in the form of the words, "Fucking analytical thinkers. Fucking you. Fucking Tavros . . . ." The griping continues as she gets up and leaves Terezi sitting at their table. Terezi smiles, knowing that's Vriska's personal way of letting her know she'd won that round.


	4. I'mma get the ending right

Equius was grateful that Eridan’s presence in the room meant that Terezi didn’t disturb them with her wake-up calls. However, rooming with Eridan had its drawbacks.  _Major_  drawbacks.

The first drawback Equius learned rather quickly: Eridan had a hell of a temper. Anything and everything could piss him off. He got pissed if Equius looked at him, and he got pissed when Equius wasn’t looking at him. It made him more uncomfortable when Eridan got angry over the latter. Was the man so starved for attention that he craved a fight with everyone? He didn’t doubt it. Fortunately, Equius was not the only one who had to endure Eridan’s temper. Feferi had to deal with it a lot seeing as she was the one who tended to drag him to the gym, either for swim-team practice or exercise in general. Equius made a point of going to the gym whenever they weren’t there, specifically to avoid Eridan. Eridan also bothered Vriska, though on some levels she seemed to enjoy it. Vriska liked attention, but didn’t crave it to the extent that Eridan did. Equius felt most terrible for the freshman Jade. Eridan had taken an instant liking to her and even though it was plain to see that Tavros had fallen head over heels for the girl, Eridan flirted. Unfortunately for Jade, his idea of flirting was very . . . creepy. Somehow the guy knew how to make his height as intimidating as possible, and Jade’s defensive brother and roommate were only so threatening. Honestly, Rose was more intimidating than John. Equius could easily pick John up and throw him across campus. Equius was glad that his protectiveness of Nepeta seemed to deter Eridan from seeking her affections. That meant he had one less headache to deal with.

Everyone had to put up with Eridan’s temper and flirtatiousness. Equius’s real problem with his roommate seemed to be his problem alone: Eridan was an insomniac. Every now and then he might lie down and close his eyes, but he never actually slept. A pin drop could bring his eyes open without a doubt. But all night long, the light on Eridan’s computer kept Equius tossing and turning and unable to get one lick of sleep.

Tonight is the first night Equius actually gets a good night’s rest. He’d mentioned to Gamzee what was keeping him up all night and somehow the guy had procured a damn blindfold of sorts that was specifically for sleeping. Equius can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief when the material completely blocks out the light from Eridan’s computer.

When Equius wakes up, he actually wakes up rather cheerful and ready to face the day. Until he takes the blindfold off.

“Son of a b—!” he cuts himself off. He jumps, side and arm hitting the wall hard as he leaps as far from the edge of the bed as possible. Standing over him with an odd look on his face is his roommate. “What are you doing?”

“You’re wearing a blindfold. Why?”

“Seriously? You stand over me specifically to ask me why I’m wearing a fucking blindfold?!”

“Why? Does it bother you?” His expression turns a little too excited for Equius’s comfort.

“Can you . . . can you get the hell away from me?”

“Why?”

“Say why one more time. Please. Say it.”

At this point, Eridan leaves the room and the incident is mostly forgotten by the end of Equius’s daily workout.

Until that night. That night, Eridan would find something else to pester Equius with. He no longer wore headphones. No. Headphones were apparently beneath him, now. He blasted whatever it was he was listening to, and he probably thought he seemed cool while he was doing it. Equius did not think it was cool.

Somehow, Gamzee manages to save him a second time. He gives Equius earplugs, and Equius can finally get to sleep again. Eridan doesn’t bother Equius for at least another week.

The same thing happened Tuesday of the following week. Equius removes his blindfold to find Eridan standing over him. Equius actually throws something at his roommate this time. Unfortunately, Eridan dodges the alarm clock without delay. Then he actually has the nerve to ask, “What was that for?”

Removing the earplugs, he shouts, “Why are you being a goddamn creeper?!”

“This is creepy? I’m just standing here.”

“If you were standing anywhere else in the room it’d be fine, but right there you are a creeper!”

Equius doesn’t bother getting dressed. He just flings the plugs and mask onto the bed and leaves for the kitchen. Of course, he needs to replace the alarm clock later. When asked about the noise it had made upon making contact with the wall, he tells everyone it’s Eridan’s fault. Somehow Gamzee procures him another alarm clock, successfully convincing Equius that the juggalo is a living, walking general store.

The next morning, Equius meets his breaking point. Eridan is standing over his bed again, only this time he’s standing at the foot of Equius’s bed. When Equius glares at him, he replies, “Well, you said the other position was creepy. How about now?”

Equius has never cursed so much in his life. He would blame Karkat for being a bad influence, but ultimately he is positive that even a saint would curse upon coming in contact with Eridan fucking Ampora.

* * *

Every now and then, Eridan actually manages to close his eyes and catch a few minutes of rest. It’s hard to predict when, and it’s usually at the most inconvenient of times. However, when it does happen, he is thankful. It means he is not making a liar out of himself whenever he tells Feferi that yes, he does in fact get some sleep. He doesn’t understand why she concerns herself over such small things. Can’t she see that he’s perfectly fine and healthy?

It happens one Sunday morning while he is listening to Marianas Trench. He simply closes his eyes and drifts off without a struggle or a complaint. It’s rather nice. That is, until he wakes up. The first thing he notices when he comes to is the sound of air escaping through a small hole. Repeatedly. He comes to the conclusion that someone is breathing heavily through their nostrils. He then hears how close this individual is to them. Very close. Uncomfortably close. Close enough that there is a shadow that falls across Eridan’s bed. When he finally opens his eyes, he jumps and lets out an impressively high-pitched scream he will never admit belongs to him.

Equius is standing at the head of Eridan’s bed, breathing heavily through the nostrils, casting a shadow on Eridan’s face, and holding a pillow. His lips are pressed in a thin line and the muscles in his neck are bulging. His jaw is tight and it looks like the man was moments from smother Eridan to death.

Eridan is about to call for help (although he’s not positive anyone would come) when Equius whispers, “Do you understand now? Why your standing over my bed is creepy? Have I made my point clear?” It takes Eridan a moment for the words to register. When they do, he nods furiously. “Good. Because next time I catch you staring at me while I’m trying to sleep, don’t think for one second I won’t be waiting for you to fall asleep again. Next time, I’ll have Nepeta’s claws.” With that, Equius tosses his pillow back onto his bed and leaves.

It is at that precise moment that Eridan decides he will never sleep again.


	5. You can't stop this

“If you’re gonna clean your fucking roach bowl, could you at leatht clothe the door?”

“Who’s gonna see it, man?”

“I don’t know, maybe Kanaya? Maybe one of the tutorth and mentorth living here who are legally obligated to report any thort of illegal activity?”

“Dude, I am a tutor.”

“Exactly! You sthouldn’t even be doing thith thtuff. You’re a bad influenthe. We love you, dude, but theriouthly. At leatht try to keep your drug uthe a thecret?” Sollux stepped out, then backed up and readdressed Gamzee. “And I have athma. You sthouldn’t even be thmoking in thith room. It’th part of the contract.”

After that, Sollux no longer had an issue with Gamzee smoking in the room. In fact, much of Gamzee’s stash disappeared by the time Sollux had returned from class. But Gamzee kept getting high somehow. He didn’t hang out with anyone outside the fraternity, and none of the other brothers appeared as baked as Makara himself. So how and when Gamzee found the time to get high became a mystery.

At first, Sollux didn’t mind. As long as nothing set off his asthma, he didn’t particularly care what the guy did. But every now and then Sollux became perplexed. Just where was Gamzee keeping his stuff? The only person more interested in the subject than he was happened to be Terezi, who for some reason saw it as a criminal investigation.

Speaking of Terezi, he needs to tell her that waking him up in the morning isn’t really necessary seeing as Gamzee does it anyway by blowing horns in Sollux’s face. Those two should really reconsider their AM duties before one of the brothers murdered them. The only reassurance was that Tavros usually had coffee at the ready and Jade was excellent at cooking breakfast. As annoying as they can be, Sollux blesses the morning people with what little religious fervor Gamzee has passed onto him.

This morning Terezi had one of Gamzee's horns. Funny, because Sollux thought they'd all disappeared with Gamzee's stash. He should take that as a hint that she managed to find everything Gamzee had hidden. She confirms it with, “Upstairs closet. Thing's big enough to house his Faygo, too.”

Sollux's brow furrows. “Faygo? What'th—?”

“Some soda he likes. Got about fifteen cases and a general store in there.”

Equius had said the guy was a walking general store once. Sollux hadn't believed him. Guess now he did. “Why doeth he have all thith thtuff?” And where's he getting it?

“He probably impulse buys half of it when he's doing a grocery run, but I think he goes dumpster diving around campus and finds the things people throw out. Tends to be something he does when he's high.”

“But what'th he doing with it all?”

“Probably giving it to people who need it.”

For a moment, Sollux feels bad for talking poorly about Gamzee's activities and status as a tutor. Then he remembers another important detail. “Gamzee'th not allowed upthtairth. He keepth trying to jump out the windowth.”

Terezi shrugs. “He hasn't yet.”

Again, she had a point.

* * *

 

A day in the life of Gamzee Makara typically involved going to classes and coming straight back to the house. Sometimes he went to the dining hall, but most days he didn't. He had enough back at the house to sustain himself. When no one's looking, he sneaks upstairs to his 'private office' to gather his wits about him. He makes sure the smoke dissipates before he leaves, then picks up some other items in the space before sneaking out to his night shift at the tutor center. Most students only showed up for tutoring right before test, but he'd come to know a few regulars of late.

“Can you explain this assignment to me?” one asks.

“Sure thing, my man.” Gamzee looks over the paper before replying, “Ah, non-Euclidian geometry. That's rough.”

“The professor told us to forget everything we know about geometry.”

Gamzee shakes his head. “That's ridiculous. Forgetting everything you know is the first step to never understanding this stuff, because in order to get it you have to know what rules you're breaking to believe it's possible. So you're starting with a hyperbolic planes?”

“Yeah, but I have no idea where to start.” Gamzee smiles and holds up a finger. Digging through his backpack, he pulls out a book and hands it to the kid. The student looks at the book, then grimaces. “A guide to . . . crocheting?”

“Page twenty-three. Read it and weep.”

“Where'd you find this?”

“Senior threw it out the door one day. Gave up trying.”

The kid flipped through the book to the page he'd been assigned. “I must've seen my mom make hundreds of these.”

“Then you're one step closer to finding your answer.”

The student left confused, but he was one of those guys who could figure it out on his own. He just needed to stew on it with the right materials. The next student to come in, however, required a little more help.

“Flashcards don't help. I don't get why my mentor keeps telling me they're the way to go.”

Kanaya had to be her mentor. Kanaya was very by-the-book, and there was no study method more by-the-book than flashcards. Terezi could be by-the-book, only she tended to get more inventive with the techniques. “Have you tried memory games?”

“My memory's not that good. Not since the car accident.”

“That's tough, friend.” Reaching into his backpack, he pulled forth and handed her a recorder. “Try this. You're an auditory person, right?” She nodded. “Record yourself reading the definitions aloud. Then record yourself using them in a sentence.”

“That's stupid.”

“But effective. Try it. Then let me know how it goes on the bio test.”

Hopefully that would help more than reading the same thing over and over again and trying to guess the answer. Good thing the library discards older technology in favor of new, or else he'd have never found that gem.

The next student to come in didn't need tutoring. What she needed was a counselor. “I don't know what the professor's saying. I mean, I get that I'm not living up to my full potential. I know that. But the harder I try in the class, the worse I do.”

“And when you don't try?”

“I pass! I mean, it's not top marks, but I do well enough that I'm not worried.”

“Sounds like you need to destress.”

“But the professor wants an improvement! He wants to see it, wants proof!” She leans forward for emphasis. “I could list all the metals on the periodic table. All of them. All kinds of metals. But as soon as I'm in front of the professor, I forget everything I've memorized.”

“It's stress. Here.” Reaching into a side pocket of the backpack, he gives her a seemingly blank CD. “This'll calm you down enough to focus. Whenever you feel yourself getting too worried about the professor's opinion, listen to it.”

She looks over the CD. “What's on it?”

Then he breaks one of his cardinal rules of tutoring and whispers, “Motherfuckin' miracles.” Why break the cursing rule? It actually made her laugh.

This time, the CD was not something he'd happened upon. It was a mix of his own, one he shared with his most stressed subjects. The results had been rather successful in the past. He prayed the streak of success continued.

When he gets back to the house, he makes a quick trip to his private office before heading to the kitchen. There he finds his roommate sitting a the table with his glasses. Gamzee frowns. Sollux typically didn't take off his glasses unless he was stressed. When the brother looks up and sees him, he immediately puts the things back on and asks, “Why are you up tho late?”

“Work and stuff, my man. What's up with you?” Pulling a box of Cheez-its and a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet before sitting down across from his roommate, he asks, “Is it a Karkat or a Terezi prob?”

Sollux smirks at the mention of those two, who had been designated the house therapists from day one. “Karkat.”

Gamzee smiles as he dips a Cheez-it in peanut butter and throws it in his mouth. “Ah, the romance division. Who's the lucky gal? Or guy? Whatever your preference my man.”

Sollux sighs, twiddling his thumbs nervously. “Aradia.”

Gamzee's eyes widen. A fellow brother! And a transfer at that. “I feel for ya man. She's gorgeous.”

“I want to athk her out, but . . .,” he cut himself off.

Gamzee leans in, popping more peanut butter coated Cheez-its in his mouth before asking, “What's stopping you? She's open! And she seemed excited to see you at open house. Do it!”

“I don't know how! Bethideth, her latht boyfriend wath Equiuth. How can I compare to that?”

Gamzee felt his heart flutter at the mention of Equius. “Yes, he is a lovely man isn't he.”

“That'th not helping.” Sollux's forehead hit the table hard. Gamzee could barely hear him grumble, “Firtht time I've theen her in yearth and all I can think to do ith drool. What the hell ith wrong with me?”

“You were friends before?”

“Yeah, in like elementary and middle thchool.”

“Were you crushin' on her then?”

“Yeah. Hard.” He sat up and looked at Gamzee. “But sthe wath my betht friend, and way outta my league. I didn't want to ruin thingth.”

“You're both older. You've both changed. What I propose,” Gamzee leans on his elbows across the table, “is you have a date, but it's not actually a date. It's a catch-up thing. Talk to her again. Ask her how she's been, what's been up. Feel her out, you know?” He then points out, “You've got this easier than you know. She's not some stranger. You know her from before. You have history. You know something about what you can talk to her about. There's rapport there, you just need to build it back up.”

“Yeah, but I don't know how to athk her any of thith thtuff without making it sound like a come-on. I mean, sthe and Equiuth were together before they came here. Ithn't he gonna be upthet?”

“Dude, since when has anyone ever killed someone over an ex-girlfriend?”

“I don't like your logic.”

Dropping the Cheez-its and peanut butter, Gamzee gets up and comes around the table to Sollux. “You're asking her out, and I'm gonna help you do it.”

“No, man, I can't—”

“Yes you can. Have faith, brother, and you shall see.” Pulling Sollux out of the chair, he pulls him upstairs. “First you gotta be presentable.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“My private office. Let's make a man out of you.”

“It would take a miracle.”

Gamzee stops and turns to him with a smile. “Miracles are my specialty.”

* * *

Sollux was going to have a heart attack. Why had he let Gamzee talk him into this? This was a terrible idea. Yet here he stood, wearing a buttoned-down short-sleeved shirt and a spiffy pair of jeans that were just too long for him. His hair was combed (which was strange because he hadn't been aware that Gamzee owned a comb), and he had two free  
tickets to any movie Aradia wanted to see.

But he actually had to ask her out first.

She came in from one of her archeology classes ten minutes later than normal. How he knew that, he'd never tell. Fortunately, she came in alone. Had she not, he might have chickened out and run straight to his room where Gamzee would be waiting to hear what happened. When he approaches her, his internal organs are somersaulting. Keep calm, he tells himself. Keep calm and just act naturally.

“Hi,” he says.

She smiles at him, adjusting her bag. “Hey, how's it going?” She straightens up before adding, “Sorry I didn't talk to you much after open house. I kind of got intimidated by everyone.”

“Oh yeah, it wath a weird night. Thomeone thpiked the punch.” This was good. Casual conversation. It was going well.

Her eyes widened. “No kidding! Was it who I think it was?”

“Oh no. Not him. We never really identified the culprit, but we're pretty thure it wath a fresthman.”

“Oh no. That's hilarious.”

Now for the big one. He inhaled, bracing himself for the impact of what was to come. “Aradia, I wath—”

“So what are you doing this weekend?” she asks.

Sollux stiffens. “Huh?”

“Well, if you're not busy, wanna catch up? Hang out a bit?”

This . . . this was happening. Really happening. His insides stopped flipping and exploded. She was asking _him_  out. Realizing he was stalling, he jumped a little before saying, “Thure! Actually I, um, have two free ticketth to thee a movie if you're interethted.”

“Seriously? Let's do it!” And then she hugs him and he thinks he might pass out. “It's a date.”

And just like that, he had a date with his childhood best friend. Going back to his room, he finds Gamzee waiting with bated breath. Sollux lets out all the air he'd been holding in as the juggalo asks, “So?” The word lasted about three syllables longer than it seemed necessary, but Sollux understands.

He finds himself smiling as he says, “Sthe athked me.”

Gamzee's face is priceless. “Really?! Dude! Congrats!”

Before Sollux could protest, Gamzee is pulling him in for a bro hug. Though his brother had to double over to do this, Sollux couldn't bring himself to complain. Instead he smiles and hugs back, realizing that as far as roommates go he could have done a lot worse.

* * *

 

Feferi's been hanging around Sollux a lot recently. He's not really sure what she's up to, but he's fairly sure it's not about him. Not from the way her smile quirks when Aradia sighs to cover the annoyed huff that actually conveys her thoughts. Feferi also seems to be taking some pride in the daggers Eridan is glaring at him in response. 

But when she's on her own, Feferi's actually pretty cool. She doesn't know shit about video games, but her reactions to them is hilarious. The amount of passion she has for animals, for health care, for environmental policies is amazing and he's learning a lot from her. He's just not sure how to feel when she squeezes his shoulder or hugs him suddenly.

And then Vriska, of all people, gives him a warning. "She's a flirty little bitch, ain't she?" She nods at Feferi's retreating back.

"Uh, if you thay tho." Sollux shrugs. "The theemth pretty nithe to me."

"Yeah," Vriska waves her hand. "That's just 'cause she likes ya. If you wanna get with Aradia, though, you're gonna have to make a choice."

Sollux shakes his head. "Aradia'th not like that," he assures her. "The'th not the jealouth type. I've known her for a long time."

"Aha! So you do wanna get with Aradia?" Sollux blushes and wonders how he ever managed to convince himself that talking to Vriska was a good idea. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."  _I doubt that._  "It's just the thing about Feferi, you know?"

"Uh, no?"

Vriska gives him a look like he's the biggest idiot she's ever met. It's annoying and very seriously trying his nerves. "Feferi can bring out the competitiveness in anyone. It's her talent, but also her curse."  Sollux guess he can see that, as he thinks back to the amount of passion he's felt after one of her heartfelt discussions about whale safety during tuna fishing or something to that effect. 

Vriska bounces off the couch and pats Sollux's head, removing him from his thoughtful mode to annoyed. "Night night, Solly!"


	6. And I must insist

“Your side of the room could do with a touch of color.”

“My side of the room is colorful enough.”

“As far as rivalries go, yours is not as strenuous as the one with Vriska. I'd hate to see what her room is like.”

“What makes you think there's a rivalry between us?”

“Think realistically, Dia. Everyone in academics is in competition with one another. That's just the way it is. The sooner one accepts that, the closer they are to victory.”

Aradia didn't look up from her book. When Feferi went on her tangents like this, she tried to ignore her. When Feferi condescendingly referred to her as Dia, she completely blocked her out. Perhaps it may not seem condescending to her, but Feferi had an air of condescension about her that made it feel that way. Feferi had been working on Aradia about decorating her side of the room since they'd gotten there. At least she hadn't taken the initiative and done it without her permission yet. One day she might, but it was not that day.

Aradia didn't see the point in decorating, really. Sure, it was nice to personalize, but to decorate? They were only going to be here for less than a year. Then they'd have to pack up, leave, come back, and figure out what rooming situations were all over again before redecorating. Aradia just thought it was easier to remove decorating from the list altogether.

Feferi's half of the room was the very definition of colorful, though. It was a literal rainbow at times. Aradia dreaded the holidays, when Feferi's madness would most likely spread to the rest of the house.

After making her bed and pulling back the curtains, Feferi sits down at her desk and opens her laptop. Aradia wrinkles her nose as she tries to focus on her book rather than recall a significant detail from Feferi's rant. Eventually her curiosity wins out and she looks at her furiously typing roommate. “Rivalry with Vriska?” she asks.

Feferi stops typing, and Aradia can just barely see her fingers crook in a most unattractive gesture of disgust. Her roommate's response is a short, “Yes.”

“Hmm,” Aradia hummed. “Seems like more than an academic rivalry to me.”

“No.”

The answer was too quick for Aradia to believe it was genuine. Suddenly Feferi's typing turns angrier and faster than before. Yes, definitely more than an academic rivalry. Aradia lifts an eyebrow as she closes her book. “Is this about a man—?”

“No!”

Oh, yes it is. Aradia crosses her arms and positions herself on the edge of the bed. One thing she learned about Feferi from their days at the other university was the woman's capacity to discover just about anything she so desired. Feferi could be an informant if she wanted, should really go into investigating rather than government. However, she had her heart set on politics. Her skills would still come in handy there, but Aradia felt it was a waste to use such information-gathering skills on political science.

Aradia wasn't a gossip. No, she was more comfortable talking to people who weren't actually alive than living, breathing people. But sometimes it was good to stay informed, and Feferi could fulfill that role. And it had been a very long time since Aradia had spoken to Vriska. The two of them had had a bit of a fallout, and Aradia wasn't even sure if she should try to approach her.

So Aradia asks, “What's so bad about Vriska?”

But Feferi only says, “I don't want to talk about it.”

It's easier to get Feferi to talk when she's cheerful. Aradia knows this. Casually leaning back onto her bed and cradling the book in her arms, she sighs and resolves to strike a deal. “If you help take it down at the end of the year, would it really make you happy to add to color to my side?”

Feferi spins in her chair and gives Aradia this truly terrifying grin. For once, Aradia thinks of smiles as scary. “Really?” Aradia nods. Feferi squeals and claps. “You won't regret it!”

Aradia already did. “Just don't go through my stuff.”

“Oh, I won't. No worries there!” Feferi immediately sets to work, and it sort of terrifies Aradia. Had she always planned to do this. “Red is just a wonderful color for you. So much livelier than black, and,” she gasps and stops, “yellow. I think yellow will also do very nicely.” She's looking through a box she keeps under her bad as she  
speaks, pulling some items Aradia simply cannot identify out and placing them on her bed. As she works, she suddenly starts talking and it makes Aradia focus on what she's saying more than what she's doing. “Vriska has this idea that she's more attractive than me. She's never said it aloud, but I just know that's what she thinks. I know that's what she's doing.”

“What gives you that idea?”

“The way she flaunts at Eridan. He's such an imbecile for falling for her.”

“Eridan and . . . Vriska?”

“Yeah. He totally has a thing for her and she's just taking advantage of it. She loves the leverage it gives her over him. I hate it. She does the same thing to Equius, you know.” That she does know. She knows that very well. She could recall it like it was yesterday. “He misses you, you know.”

“Yeah.”

“Not as terribly as everyone expected, but he still thinks about you I'm sure. What made you end it?”

When did this talk become about her. She decides it's only fair to answer. “He was just too intense. I didn't feel the same way.”

“I had that problem with Eridan. All I really want is a good friend, but he just gets so possessive it's ridiculous.”

“Sounds like Eridan, really. Do you think that's why he likes Vriska?”

“Who said he liked her?” Feferi turns on her then, suspicious.

Aradia fears she may have read too much into Feferi's statements until a voice in her mind whispers to her, _Replacement. She's a replacement._  “He's using Vriska as a substitute for you.”

Feferi stares at her for a moment longer before turning away. She doesn't move for a moment, but then she's right back at deciding what she's going to do with the room. “Well, he could've chosen someone with more self-respect.”

Aradia sighs, grateful her voices decided to aid her in that moment. Sollux used to joke that she heard spirits talking to her when they were little. She wasn't certain that was the case. She thought they were just her equivalent to a conscience. Maybe they were characters from a story she'd read. Either way, she'd seen plenty of doctors who'd told her these voices were nothing to worry about. Strange, really. She'd always been told therapists would do anything to write a prescription. No one had even seen fit to write her one, so she didn't worry.

She chipped in, “From what I remember, self-respect isn't Vriska's problem. Rather, it was over-confidence.”

“Well,” Feferi says, “she can over-confidently back off. Eridan is much too good for her.” Sometimes Aradia wonders how Feferi managed to see any good in that sleazy, attention-mongering child of a man. Then Feferi turned to her with another of her scary grins. “I hear you have an admirer.” 

Aradia lifts both eyebrows this time. “Do I?”

“One Sollux Captor. That little cutie!”

Something inside Aradia twisted. “Cutie?”

“Yeah, don't you think so? He's so precious! I want to squeeze him!” She hugs the material in her arms for emphasis and the twisting with Aradia makes her see more red than her roommate is holding at the moment. “If you don't want him, I'll—”

Aradia doesn't know what comes over her, but she cuts Feferi off with, “I'm going on a date with him this weekend.”

She freezes, tilting her head and letting out a quiet, “Oh.”

Aradia rethinks Feferi's earlier rant. Suddenly, she actually does see her roommate as her rival.

* * *

Feferi sees nothing wrong in friendly competition. It's healthy really. It keeps her thinking and feeling, and it prepares her for just about anything. She is not one to back down, for any reason. Once challenged, she is sure to be a worthy opponent.  
  
Which is why she meets Aradia and Sollux at the door before they go out on a big date. Sure, Aradia thanked her for the decorations and was genuinely interested in everything she'd had to say, but she smelt a challenge when Aradia got territorial over Sollux. What was a little friendly competition in the fraternity anyway?

“Hi Sollux!”

“Uh . . . hi?” _The poor guy is shy. How cute._

“Feferi,” Aradia greets her coldly.

Feferi just beams in response. “I wanted to give you something before you left. Maybe you two can treat yourselves with it.” She hands over the gift certificate someone had given her ages ago. “It's some restaurant in the city. I know I'll never go, so maybe you could enjoy it.”

“I don't know if I thould—”

She shushes Sollux, holding a finger up. “My gift to you two.” Winking at him, she adds, “Enjoy.”

As the two walk out the door, she can just hear Sollux ask Aradia, “What wath that about?”

“I think it's code for something.” Aradia doesn't sound impressed in the slightest.

Feferi smiles. On the plus side, if Aradia and Sollux are serious about one another she won't be _that_  much of a bump in the road. If they aren't meant to be, she might get a little more flirtatious with the young man. Either way,  she's enjoying the creepy look Eridan is giving her from around the corner a little too much. She won't let him know she knows he's watching. Not yet at least.

But if he thinks Vriska's the only one who can flirt and get what she wants, he's wrong.

* * *

Gamzee is sitting at the kitchen table with a pint of Rocky Road ice cream in front of him. The spoon dangles from his mouth as he texts back and forth with a tutoring student. He can't read his own handwriting, apparently, and has been checking in with Gamzee to make sure he's got the rules down pat. Truth be told, he's brilliant; all this kid needs is some self-confidence. Maybe after this test he can apply to become a tutor, take some of Gamzee's stress away -

"Hiya Gamzee!" Gamzee sets his mobile down on the table and takes the spoon out of his mouth.

_Huh, that's kinda weird. She never talks to me_ . "Hi Feferi. How's it going?"

She doesn't tell him, just sits herself down at the seat across from his. "So, you're Sollux's roommate, right?"

"Uh, yeah," He's choosing to focus on the way Feferi is turning a lock of hair around her finger because the look on her face is too frightening. "Why?"

She shrugs. "Just curious. Do you know if he, ah, likes anyone?"

He really doesn't like where this is going. There are so many other damn in-group rivalries (mostly between Vriska and, well, everyone else) that one more really doesn't need to be started up between Aradia and Feferi. "He's going out with Aradia at the moment."  _But you'd know that, you were just outside talking to them._

"Oh," she says, feigning oblivious. "Do you think it's serious?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is." She pouts at that, eyes drifting. Gamzee tries to reason with himself that his discomfort is ridiculous. Feferi is probably a really nice lady, if a little pretentious. 

Suddenly, she perks up. "Ah well. Do you know where Eridan is?"

Gamzee's pretty sure this isn't a closing for the matter. She'll probably be on the subject again before the week is through - before the night is through, even. All the same, he's glad for an excuse to politely send her away. "Yeah, he went upstairs with Vriska a couple minutes ago."

The air in the room goes out. He watches that finger stop twirling and tug. There's a barely inaudible growl before she pushes the chair back abruptly and storms upstairs. He makes a promise to himself to never get on her bad side.


	7. That you haven't had enough

Karkat didn't want to say it out loud, but he was glad having Tavros as a roommate meant they got the biggest room in the house. After all,  
Tavros needed accommodations for his wheelchair. He was also glad Tavros was one of the morning people who didn't try waking him up. Of  
all the brothers, Karkat legitimately believed that Tavros and he were the chillest pair of roommates. Which was good. Because Karkat was far from chill.

Which was why Tavros, Gamzee, and Karkat made up the deadliest trio of gamers ever.

“Did you just rocket me?!”

“Uhm . . . .”

“You just shot me with a motherfuckin' rocket launcher! Un-fucking-acceptable!”

“It wasn't-it wasn't me! I didn't do the—”

“It was me.”

“Well now you're both dead! Deader than hell! Dead as Tavros is below the waist!”

“I'm not completely dead below—”

“Dead as Gamzee's sense of smell!”

“That's motherfuckin' accurate, actually.”

And that's how that session of _Halo_ ended. Tavros looks at the scores and utters, “I never do as well as I think I am.”

Gamzee drapes an arm over Tavros's shoulder and says, “Scores don't matter to us, man. Just the fun of killing each other in a socially  
acceptable matter.”

“Thanks, but, I'd like to be good at at least one competitive game.”

“We'll just have to keep finding things to play. One day you'll find the right one.”

Karkat adds, “Yeah, just think about what Roofie would do.”

“Uhm, it's Rufio.”

“Sounds even more like a drug when you say it like that,” Karkat remarks.

"The hell it motherfuckin' does, man," Gamzee comments. "A roofie is actually a drug, you know."

Tavros listens to Karkat and Gamzee bicker, not actually minding it. He knows it's kind of a silly thought, but he has it anyway: he's really glad to have friends.

"Let's try _Mario Kart_. Been a while since I threw a tortoise shell. Can't lose my game." Gamzee stuffed a handful of goldfish crackers in his mouth before offering the bag to Tavros, who thanks him as Karkat readies the system.

"Did I hear that right?" Suddenly the three look to find one of the freshmen in the doorway.

Karkat feels hot in the face. " What the fuck who the fuck invited you fuckin' here?!"

Dave smirks and says, "Your girlfriend. Said she needed to work out some dets on this whole big/little thing." He gestures to the tv and consoles. "So you're playing _Mario Kart_?"

"We, the three of us, and only the three of us -"

"Oh chill out Kar, I've got another controller." And indeed he does. Karkat wants nothing more than to slap the stoner and drag his nails across Dave's face as his wild-haired brother pulls another controller from out of nowhere, presenting it to Dave.

"All right, fine. But Terezi is not my fucking girlfriend," Karkat grumbles.

Dave raises an eyebrow. "Oh, good, because I think she was checking me out." Karkat's blood freezes. "I'd hate to be encroaching on someone else's romantic playfield."

" She's fucking blind she can't check you out!"

"Uhm, only partially--"

"Don't help that mother fucker!"

"Actually," Dave interjects, "I already knew that. And thanks, my juggalo bro."

"Anything for Dirk's baby bro."

Karkat wants to get up and leave, is fuming enough to shoot steam from his ears. However he resolves to kick Dave's ass no matter the cost. So Dave thought he was man enough for Terezi, but is he man enough to handle a barrage of red tortoise shells? Karkat would have to find out.

As if to maximize his irritation and humiliation, Vriska pops in with Dave's roommate. "I heard the words Mario and Kart." She cracks her fingers out in front of her, smirking. “I call dibs on playing loser."

"Playing loser? Why, are you that bad at it?" Dave asks.

"Nope. It's just more fun to antagonize the losing party," she smirks and bumps John's hip with her own. Dave frowns at her, and Karkat watches to try and find a way to use this against them.

"Guess that means you're playing me," Tavros says, rubbing one side of the controller like a worry stone.

"Nah, bro. Remember Rufio! Viva la Rufio!" Gamzee encourages.

"Who the hell is Rufio?" Dave asks.

"His self-esteem personified. Kanaya's idea." Gamzee holds up a two liter bottle. "Canadians anybody?"

"What?" John asks in a minor panic.

"It's ginger ale. Gamzee just calls it dry Canadians. No one knows why," Vriska whispers to him. She smiles at the freshman before brushing a strand of hair out of his face. "I bet you cosplay a good Nicolas Cage."

John flusters. "I love Nicolas Cage."

"Me too!"

"You two are weirding me out back there!" Dave says, a bit of irritation in his voice. No one could figure out exactly why he was irritated though.

Vriska doesn't respond verbally, only sticking her tongue out. John laughs, and Karkat cringes at the sound. Egbert is probably one of those people who just enjoys life as it is and sees no reason not to be happy -

"Start it up, Kar!" Gamzee orders. Karkat resents it, but keeps the grumbling to a minimum. They're all a bit startled when Vriska suddenly shouts, "Go Tavros! You can do it! Woooo!"

Tavros blushes and rubs the back of his head self-consciously. "Thanks, Vris."

"Hey guys!" Jade nudges John to move forward, giving Vriska an odd look as she goes. 

 

"H-hey!" Tavros's blush turns to a full on fluster as Jade, John, and Vriska all seat themselves behind their preferred winners: Jade and Vriska behind a shaky Tavros and John behind Dave.

Karkat's grumbling grows in intensity throughout the game when an unexpected brother steps into the room to observe. "Don't hesitate to take the outside rail," Eridan tells Karkat. "Sometimes it's faster than sharp turns."

"Can't save him from this," Dave says, hitting Karkat with a blue shell.

Karkat loses all composure. "You fuckwitted red-eyed hipster piece of shitstained bread hair!"

Karkat's car is knocked off course. There's a hiss of "Yes!" from behind him coming from Vriska. "I told you you wouldn't lose, Toradork!" she cheers, punching Tavros playfully on the arm.

Jade frowns. "Toradork? That's not very nice."

Vriska blinks at her, expression unreadable. "It's...a long story."

"I don't mind, Jade, it's, uh, like a sign of, uhm," he blushes. "Affection, you know."

"We were rpers once upon a time," Vriska offers.

"Oh! John don't you rp?"

"Yeah. Not so much now, but it was a lot of fun."

"A lot of uncool, you mean," Dave says. "Whole lot of easy and boring."

"I got your easy and boring," Karkat grumbled sourly, not even paying attention to context anymore he's fuming so much. For Tavros's sake, he would not be returning to their room tonight. "I'ma pull an all-nighter. I've got it out for you, you--"

"Calm your tits, Karkat. No need for a feud," Gamzee soothes. What Gamzee doesn't understand is that Dave has drawn first blood. Now Karkat will never rest until he sees this to the end.

"I'm game for an all-nighter if you're up for _Call of Duty_ ," Eridan tells Karkat.

"You're not gonna lock yourself upstairs as usual?"

"My horse-faced roommate threatened me with a pillow. I'd rather not risk it."

Gamzee laughs, "So that _was_ you screaming."

That wins the juggalo a glare, but Karkat answers Eridan's enquiry with, "Sure."

A few minutes later, Tavros rolls out of the room with Jade, Dave, and John in tow. Leaving Vriska to torment Karkat and Eridan to keep on creeping, Gamzee soon joins the four in the kitchen.

“I don't get it,” Jade begins. “How do you tolerate everyone yelling and bickering around you?”

“It's not as bad as it seems,” Tavros defends his friends.

“Actually, I'm pretty sure that fuckhead you call your president wants to genuinely kill me,” Dave adds. He didn't seem miffed at this. If anything, he looks like he's achieved one of his life's goals.

“Yeah man. It's 'cause you mentioned TZ. He's had a thing for her for years,” Gamzee comments as he starts smearing jelly on bread. No one quite knows how he procured food that fast.

“Uhm, he, uh, doesn't like us talking about that,” Tavros says, scratching his bed.

“Why not? She clearly likes him too,” Jade points out.

“Yeah, that doesn't mean anything to best friend in there. He's a bit,” Gamzee licks the jelly off the spoon, “odd. We're not quite sure what's holding him back.”

“Probably that crippling self-esteem issue he's got,” Dave utters. “Only one I know with worse issues is this bull-man.”

“Uhm,” Tavros's face reddens as he hunches over in his chair.

Jade slaps Dave's arm, and not playfully. "Geez, rude!" she comments, glaring. 

Dave smirks at her, shrugging. "I just call it as I see it."

She rolls her eyes, patting Tavros on the shoulder. "He doesn't mean it. He's just mad because he's only now realizing that he's not quite the ladies' man he thought he was."

"Oh, what?" Dave waves his hand in offense. "That is not true at all! I will have you know that Rose is -" 

"Gay?" Gamzee offers. Dave whips his head around at this suggestion. 

"Your sister?" Jade supplies, smiling at the obvious strain and anger this is causing their blond hipster friend. 

"She's not my sister!" he snaps. "God, why does everyone think that?"

"You do, uh," Tavros says, smiling now that he is no longer the topic of focus. "Look a lot alike. You know, in the hair and the face."

"There is no point in talking to any of you," Dave grumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" Gamzee laughs at Karkat's screams as the others turn to face the direction of the noise. "YOU FUCKING CHEATED!"

"No I didn't," Vriska's voice counters. She seems amused by Karkat's frustration.

"I WANT A REMATCH." 

"Hell no. Jade said she'd play winner. I'm the winner. And them's the breaks!" They hear a crash from inside the main room and a faint yell. "Ay corumba, Mr. Grabby Hands."

"YOU THREW ME OFF THE FUCKING COUCH."

"I did no such - Ack!" Vriska's shout sounds laced with laughter, but her raises. "Terezi! Get your ass in here and control your boyfriend!"

"SHE IS NOT MY -" Karkat starts, but he's cut off by Terezi's voice, hollering down the stairs that she is indeed coming. One one hand she's holding a dragon-headed cane, the other hand holding onto the railing. She's clad only in a pair of boxers, a bra, and a bathrobe made to look like a dragon.

She stops at the bottom of the stairs, sniffs the air, and turns her head in the direction of the kitchen. She smiles at what must be blurs to her, and waves. "Oh, hey guys -"

"Terezi, hurry! He's trying to get to my booty!"

"NO I'M - AUGH!" There's another crash, and Terezi narrows her eyes. 

"If they've broken another glass vase, Kanaya is gonna be so pissed." Gamzee follows Terezi as she marches into the living room. Tavros prepares to wheel himself in as well, but finds himself being pushed by none other than Jade. 

She gives him a small smile, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Oh, you don't, uh, mind, do you?"

"Oh - uh, of course - of course not!" he curses his stammers. Dave has proceeded them as they spoke, infuriating smirk on his face. Tavros frowned at his own judgment - it wasn't like him to think so harshly of anyone. But he could definitely understand why Karkat found him irritating, and not just because of hitting on Terezi (and the fact that he was now staring blatantly at her behind). Something about Dave's smirk seemed so...condescending. 

“But really. How do you deal with your friends' rudeness?” Jade asks.

Tavros thought about Karkat, Vriska, and Gamzee, the three previously in the room he was closest to. With a smile, Tavros says, “Because I know they'd do anything for me. You know. If it came down to it.”

Jade is quiet for a minute, then says, “That's a good way to look at things, I guess.”

“It's why we're brothers. Brothers stick together.”

Jade smiles at Tavros, and a blush creeps back into his cheeks as he can't stop staring at her gorgeous eyes. He's never seen eyes quite like that before.

Just as he's consulting Rufio on what to do next, though, he hears Karkat scream, “GO TO FUCKING HELL YOU PIECE OF ASSFACED CODPIECE!” at no discernible individual. Yes. Brothers. Sticking together like glue.


End file.
